Is Your Life A Lot Like A Reality TV Show?
Is there a lot of drama in your life?
Have you noticed there aren’t reality tv shows about happy, well-adjusted people who get along with each other very well?
Mostly it would seem boring wouldn’t it?
Sure, these folks would have their share of challenges and trouble,
but if they just calmly handled things
and worked together to resolve issues
and listened, really listened, to each other,
who would want to watch that?
We have to admit it. We love the drama.
Even the tv shows that are scripted,
not reality shows,
what are they mostly about?
Even the comedy shows are about drama.
They just have a funny slant on it.
Why do we love drama so much? Our brains are wired to look for it.
The more primitive parts of our brains
are focused on survival.
That means identifying and neutralizing threats
as quickly as possible.
We share this aspect of our brain with animals.
Watch a herd of animals some time.
Mostly they graze.
If a potential threat appears they take appropriate action.
Either they move to avoid the threat,
Or they discern that there was no threat after all
And go back to grazing.
Humans have a faculty the animals don’t have:
The capacity to think about the threat.
In that way, the fact that we can keep thinking about the threat,
we can never go back to grazing with a feeling of safety like animals can.
If we humans don’t learn to think thoughts of safety and security we end up in a state of constant stress.
The accompanying cortisol courses through our blood
Keeping our bodies in a constant state of high alert.
A constant state of high alert causes inflammation
Which, over time, creates chronic illness.
So why, when we have all this stress already going on
in our bodies all the time,
do we crave drama?
We think other people’s drama is safe for us to experience.
And other people’s drama allows us
to disown our own feelings at least for a little while.
We can see our feelings “out there” in someone else’s story.
It doesn’t really help.
But when you add snacking on sugar and flour
And maybe drinking alcohol,
Or using recreational drugs
You will probably feel different after a while.
There is another way, though.
You can cultivate an attitude of unconditional LOVE.
This is a choice to embrace the golden trinity of emotional states:
What is peace?
Peace is a state of calm equanimity.
Peace is tranquility.
Peace is “just chillin’”.
How do you cultivate peace?
You choose it.
You choose peace because you want to feel peaceful.
It feels good.
You think calming thoughts like,
“Everything is ok just the way it is.”
“Even if I don’t like what’s happening, I can accept it.”
“It’s safe for me to let life be the way it is right now.”
How am I defining love here?
Love is over-flowing positive regard.
Love is appreciation.
Love is total acceptance.
Love is deep seeing.
To be clear, love is not co-dependent attachment.
Love is not “you complete me.”
Love arises from a sense of wholeness.
It is impossible to love from a state of lack or incompletion.
And love is not Hallmark sentimentality.
Love and infatuation are very different.
Love is forever.
Infatuation comes and goes.
If you can stop loving someone
you never loved them in the first place.
You were just infatuated with them.
The third part of the golden trinity is the sense of connection with all life.
It is the conscious awareness that when we look at what life is,
under all the form is energy.
That energy is everywhere,
even rocks are energy.
Empty space is energy.
You are energy.
You are so much more than a bag of skin and bones.
It seems like you are separate
and cut off from everything else.
But that is just a surface appearance.
So if you want to decrease the drama, bring down your stress level, ratchet down the doom, and transform the gloom, cultivate unconditional LOVE.
“Can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you don’t need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?”
― Joe Dispenza, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One
It feels good.
It’s not about anyone else.
It’s not about anything else.
It is about you
because you want to,
because you can.
What would it mean to the world if we all did that?
Think about it.
If we all choose to remain calm,
remain open to life being exactly how it is,
If we all choose to love
a world full of imperfect people
who fail and make mistakes.
If we all choose to remember
that we all fail and make mistakes sometimes
and LOVE each other anyway.
If we all choose to know we are energetically connected.
If we remember that what happens to any of us
happens to all of us on this energetic level.
What would the world be like then?
The need for war would disappear.
Conflicts wouldn’t arise as often
and could be resolved in a productive way
when they did.
Everyone would feel healthier.
Dramatically less stress.
Probably a 90% reduction (just guessing here…)
I like to imagine this world.
I know it is coming for everyone someday.
I choose to live there now.
How about you?
Joy is unconditional LOVE expressed.
I’m going for it.
I’m practicing today
If you don’t like it
You can always tune back into
It’s just nice to realize that you do have a choice.
You get to think whatever you want to think.
I know it can be a challenge
when circumstances are not what you would prefer.
I get that.
But things are the way things are.
You creating a lot of drama, trauma, doom and gloom
Doesn’t change that.
Unconditional LOVE may not change that
(although it might…
it is that powerful)
But unconditional LOVE will definitely change your experience of whatever it is.
Take back your power to choose from the external world.
And while you are doing that,
Set an impossible goal.
This will change your life like nothing else.
I’ll tell you why another day.